First Kisses, Last Kisses
by remuslives23
Summary: James and Lily. Sirius and Remus. Their hopeful first kiss. Their tragic last kiss. Written for serindraxx.
1. First Kisses

_Ok. This was an unexpected surprise for me - fluff. Written in only an hour or so - be gentle - and contains J/L and S/R pairings. Have never written J/L before. You've been warned!_

_WARNING: I don't think it requires one myself as there is nothing explicit in this but it will contain both a het and slash kiss. Read both, read one, it's up to you.:-)_

_This was written for **serindraxx** who requested a fic of her own. Thanks for C2ing and reviewing so many of my fics lately, chookie! :-)_

* * *

**James and Lily**

'I had a good time,' Lily said, unable to hide the surprise in her voice and James let out a breath that was part affront/part amusement.

'I aim to please,' he said softly, not wanting to let go of her hand just yet. It had taken six years for Lily to stop seeing him as a prank playing, attention seeking, egomaniacal prat and agree to go on 'one date, Potter'.

They had gone to Hogsmeade, James threatening the other Marauders with a slow, painful, public death if they came within one hundred metres of the town, not wanting anything to distract him from the redhead. He'd been attentive, without smothering her, polite without being stiff, considerate without treating her as though she was helpless. He'd taken her to lunch at The Three Broomsticks and not Madame Puddifoots, not wanting her to think he only wanted to snog her…not that he didn't, but he wanted to talk to her as well, get to know her. And it had worked - the day had been damn near perfect and he never wanted it to end.

Now, they stood at the bottom of the staircase to the girl's dorm, James' stomach twisting with nerves as thoughts ran frantically through his brain.

_Should I kiss her?_

_Will she hit me?_

_She might never talk to me again if I do…she might never talk to me again if I don't._

_What if I'm a crap kisser?_

_Shit, I should have asked Sirius for some tips…_

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't see Lily's expectant expression change to one of impatience.

'Oh, for the love of God,' she muttered, reaching up to tangle her fingers in the dark hair at the nape of his neck then she pulled his face down to hers.

Her soft lips pressed against his and for a moment, James was too surprised to register that, yes, this was the girl he'd fantasised about for so long who was kissing him and that, shit…maybe he'd better do some reciprocal snogging.

His lips parted and Lily took advantage, sliding the tip of her tongue along the soft flesh. James' stomach twisted and he lost all sense of what was proper for a first kiss, grasping her hips and pulling her flush against his body. Her mouth opened wider in a gasp as her pliant body pressed against his muscular one and James plunged his tongue into her mouth. Lily let out a little moan and their tongues battled for dominance as the kiss deepened, her arms sliding around his neck as she lifted herself to her toes.

She tasted like the chocolate they'd shared in the village and she was pressing herself against him, rubbing their bodies together and creating a delicious friction that was making little bursts of fireworks explode inside him.

The sound of voices coming down the stairs pulled them apart and they stood staring a little disbelievingly at each other, panting as they struggled to get oxygen into their deprived lungs.

'Not bad, Potter,' Lily said with a cheeky smile as she stepped up onto the stairs. 'Not bad at all.'

She walked slowly up the staircase, swing her hips a little and leaving James staring after her with an reverential smile on his face. Once she'd disappeared from view, his smile broadened into a grin and he leapt into the air, pumping his fist and letting out a loud 'whoop' of excitement before racing up the stairs to his dorm.

* * *

**Remus and Sirius**

'What can you possibly find so interesting in that mouldy old book that you would give it all the attention you should be giving me?' Sirius complained, throwing himself down next to Remus.

The werewolf was laying on his stomach, an old hard cover novel on the mattress in front of him. He gave no indication he'd noticed Sirius apart from the little crease that appeared between his eyebrows when Sirius jostled him. He made no comment, accustomed to Sirius' dramatics, just flipping the page of his book over.

'Reeemmmuuusss!'

There was a tiny twitch at the corner of the brown haired boy's lips but his eyes remained fixed on the book.

'You're no fun.'

Sirius stared up at the canopy over Remus' bed. James had made them swear on their lives that they'd steer clear of Hogsmeade today, the bespectacled boy not wanting anything to go wrong during his hard fought for date with Lily Evans. He'd spent the day bouncing from dorm to common room and back again, a nervous ball of energy. Remus, on the other hand, was still, peaceful, a complete contrast to himself.

_Opposites attract…I hope._

He sighed and rolled onto his side, propping his head up . His grey eyes drank in every feature of the other boy's face as greedily as a man who'd been wandering the desert for months guzzled water. He knew he was half in love with his friend but was clueless as to how he felt about him. Remus liked guys, he'd come out last year, but that didn't mean he'd consider Sirius viable boyfriend material. Uncertainty wasn't an emotion that sat well with the usually self-assured Sirius Black and he'd decided the time had come to do something about this perpetual state of limbo he was floating in.

It was time to fish or cut bait.

Knots of anxiety were tightening in his chest as he gazed at his friend, _his friend_, who he wanted more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. His mouth opened time and time again to say, 'I want you. I need you. I think I love you', but nothing came out. He sighed again, frustrated with his inability to just say it.

Remus swung his legs a little and the movement drew Sirius' attention to them. By the time he looked back to his face, Remus had turned his head and was watching him.

'Are you _ever_ going to kiss me?' he asked and a startled Sirius' mouth dropped open.

'That's very unattractive, Padfoot,' he said with a smile, closing his book, quite enjoying the brunette's impression of a goldfish.

'You…you…you…'

'Yes,' Remus agreed, his smile widening with the usually confident boy's stumbling attempts at coherent speech. 'I know. I've known for a while now.'

'Why didn't you say anything?' Sirius asked indignantly.

'Because I needed to know if it was a momentary distraction because you were bored or if you really…cared about me,' he told him quietly. 'Because I really care about you and I don't want to be some kind of an experiment.'

'You aren't, Remus,' he said quickly, trying to make him see his sincerity. 'I…I've never felt like this before…I think you're amazing and so funny and smart and beautiful…'

What else he might have thought of Remus was lost as the werewolf leaned over and brushed his mouth over Sirius' then whispered, 'Shut up, Padfoot', before catching the other boy's bottom lip firmly between his.

He shut up, tilting his head to the side to get better access to Remus' mouth and tentatively traced his tongue along the edge of his lip. Remus made a little noise and his lips parted, his own soft muscle meeting Sirius' and stroking tentatively before, by some kind of unspoken mutual agreement, the kiss suddenly deepened and their tongues delved into each other's mouths, exploring, tasting.

One of Sirius' hands moved to sink into the werewolf's hair and he still had enough presence of mind to register how soft it was before teeth nipped at his lip and all conscious thought flew out the window. Remus shifted and Sirius fell back onto the mattress, groaning when he felt a hand skimming down his chest to grip his hip tightly. Remus was draped across his chest as their mouths moved hungrily, ragged breathing filling the room, moans and sighs punctuating the pants.

A door slammed against a wall and the two started, moving apart quickly and sitting up. James stood in the door way, grinning maniacally.

'Lily kissed me!' he blurted out, unable to hide his glee and Sirius spoke at the same time, exclaiming joyfully, 'Remus kissed me!'

They smiled jaw breaking grins at each other then said together, 'Well, it's about time.'

**_I know - no sex. I'm surprised at me too! Please review...I need to know if I can write fluff or if this was crap._**


	2. Last Kisses

_Hiya. Ok. I was supposed to be doing a series of 'First Times' as a continuation of this but...this came out instead! Written in one sitting as the muse finally got off her arse and ran with it. Hope it's not too bad._

_Warning: Angst with a little fluff and a little cheese. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling - who, if she had any decency, would finally out the pups._

* * *

_Last Kisses_

James and Lily

'Who am I, Harry? Can you say, "_Daddy_"?'

'James,' said Lily in exasperation. 'Don't rush him. He'll say it when he's ready. Won't you, sweetheart?' She leaned over close to a blue pyjama clad Harry and tickled his cheek, making him giggle as James huffed indignantly.

'He says "_mum_", he says "_moo_" for Moony, he says "_azz_" when he sees Sirius which is probably quite an apt description for him…'

'James…'

'But he hasn't said "_daddy_" yet.'

'He'll say it when he's ready,' Lily said impatiently then she saw the troubled expression on James' face. 'What is it, honey?'

James shook his head and pushed himself to his feet, tossing Harry's soft puppy toy on the couch.

'James, tell me,' Lily insisted, standing up also and touching his arm as he turned away.

'It's just…shit…I'm being an idiot,' he muttered, dislodging his glasses as he rubbed his forehead.

Lily waited, knowing how long it took James to open up sometimes and after a few seconds, he sighed and turned back to her.

'What if I don't hear it? What if _he _finds us and I never hear him call me daddy?'

Lily stared at him, speechless, as her eyes filled with tears. 'Oh, James,' she whispered and hugged him tight to her, grasping his face in her hands. 'You'll hear it, alright? I promise you, you'll hear it.'

James cleared his throat, nodding and blinking rapidly to try and dispel his own tears. 'Yeah. Of course I will. Thanks, hon.'

His lips met hers, soft and sweet and she melted into his arms. He caught her bottom lip between his and she moaned, pressing herself closer, cupping his jaw in her small hands. James made a soft noise in his throat and deepened the kiss, meeting her probing tongue with his own. Suddenly, Harry let out a squeal and they pulled apart with a little laugh.

'We'll finish that later, Lily Potter,' James said, his voice rough and he winked before he turned back to his son. 'Now, Harry. "_Da-dee_". Can you say it?'

Lily chuckled as she left the room to fetch Harry's bedtime bottle and returned to see James waving his wand, making puffs of coloured smoke rise up into the air. She watched as Harry giggled and tried to catch the uncatchable.

'Time for bed,' she said softly and James sighed.

'Tomorrow, Harry Potter,' he said softly, kissing him on the head then scooping him up. 'Tomorrow you _will_ say it.'

He handed Harry to Lily, who kissed him on the head as well, then threw his wand down on the sofa. He stretched, watching Lily help Harry wave goodnight to him then there was a loud crash.

Everything happened so fast after that. He was screaming at Lily to run, reaching into his pocket as he ran to meet the danger head on, to protect his family, but by the time he realised his wand was on the couch, it was too late.

He stared helplessly at the bone white hand pointing a wand directly at his heart and knew it was over. The last thing he heard before the green light hit and sent him crashing to the floor was a plaintive cry drifting down the stairs.

'Daaaadddeee!'

* * *

Remus and Sirius

'Nearly time, Padfoot.'

'Mmm, it is,' Sirius agreed, looking up from his papers to peer out the window at the sky. He saw some kids run past in Halloween costumes and thought of Harry, wondering if they'd be able to take him trick or treating next year.

_Maybe this will all be over by then._

He glanced over at Remus, his heart clenching when he saw the almost translucent skin, the dark shadows under his eyes, the weariness that oozed from every single pore of his body. When he saw him like this, so fragile, he wondered how on earth he could even think that he could be a traitor.

His stomach churned and he looked away. There was a spy in the Order - they all knew it - but Remus? The man who taught him about love? The man he adored? The man that made him feel more alive than he'd ever felt before? Could that man really betray him?

'Sirius?'

He blinked, focusing his eyes and trying to smile, but managing only a poor imitation. 'Sorry, Moony. I'm just a bit…distracted, I guess.'

Remus frowned. Sirius had been pulling away lately, he'd been distant and secretive. He shook his head to rid himself of the disloyal thoughts that plagued him of late. There was a spy in the Order…could Sirius…?

_No. He would never betray us. Betray me._

But still, the treacherous thoughts refused to be banished.

Sirius stood up, pushing the chair out and took Remus' hand, leading him down to the secure shed at the back of the house they shared. While he unlocked the sturdy door, Remus checked the wards, ensuring they would hold.

'You're going to James and Lily's?' he double checked, and Sirius nodded.

'Not that you'd get out of the shed, Moony,' he reassured the man, knowing he worried that he'd escape the shed somehow and hurt him.

_Not the actions of a spy._

He sighed then squeezed Remus' hand. 'Are you ready, babe?'

Remus nodded resignedly. 'You can't stay with me?' he asked fruitlessly, knowing he couldn't. He and James had work to do tonight.

'I wish I could, Remus,' Sirius said softly, tucking a lock of the man's ashy hair behind his ear. 'I wish we could just lock ourselves in and stay here forever.'

Remus smiled and slipped his arms around Sirius' waist. 'Living on love?' he teased, making his boyfriend smile.

'And sex,' Sirius added with a grin. 'Lots and lots of sex.'

Remus laughed. 'Sounds like heaven.'

Sirius touched the shadowed jaw lightly and kissed him. 'I'll be here in the morning to unlock the door,' he promised and Remus nodded.

'I know you will,' he whispered then leaned forwards and caught Sirius' lips with his.

The brunette quickly drew him closer and the kiss grew, both of them desperate to lose themselves in the kiss, to push away the horrible thoughts of spies and betrayal; push them so far away that they couldn't torment them anymore.

For a while, it seemed to work. Tongues met and teased, lips caressed and teeth nibbled as their love took the deep seeded pain away, but when they pulled breathlessly apart, the doubts forced themselves back into their minds - betrayal a ghostly spectre that never truly went away.

Sirius kissed him one more time then watched Remus settle himself on the bed. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Moony,' he promised and Remus smiled.

'See you tomorrow.'

* * *

Fourteen Year later

Remus didn't think of their kiss in Sirius' bedroom at Grimmauld Place as their last kiss.

Even though they'd renewed their relationship after Sirius returned from exile, they were just shadows of what they once were - too much hung between them, too much still remained unsaid. Perhaps after the war, when they had time to really talk…

But, yet again, fate showed its fangs and claws - tearing them apart.

So, now, as Remus watched Sirius fall through the veil in the Department of Mysteries, he remembered that first last kiss.

That was who they really were.

That had been their true goodbye.

* * *

**_Cheese anyone? Hope it wasn't too awful. Insert usually pathetic begging for reviews here..._**


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